hell is other people

"if you have his balls in your hand, you're in charge. whatever he thinks he's doing, you can make it stop."

"if you have a vagina and want someone to bury their face in it, you should trim it. unless your vagina sticks out six inches..."


"heterosexual male identity, ever since the modern day gay and lesbian civil rights movement, has really been kind of threatened and under seige and straight guys have been kind of at sea. because heterosexual male identity, somhow in the early sixties, seventies, when gay people started coming out and it was suddenly gay to get your dick sucked, not just be the one who sucked the dick... being a straight guy in america now [means that] you're not a girl and you're not a fag. so anything that girls do or like or that fags do or like is forbidden, if you want to maintain your straight guy bonafides. so straight guys can't have feelings and they can't have nipples. every day i get letters from straight guys who have nipples that respond to stimulation. they like to have their nipples sucked. and they write me and say they like to have their nipples played with while eating pussy. and they write me letters and say, 'am i gay?' no. there's no amount of nipple stimulation that would make eating pussy tolerable to me... straight guys, they can't have feelings, they can't worry about what their wearing, they can't be at all concerned with their appearance... how sad to be a straight guy and have all this world closed off to you... you like what you like. and if you're a guy and a girl doing something together, it's heterosexual sex, whatever it is. if she puts a finger in your ass there's no override switch in your ass that's going to turn you gay."

"getting fucked in the ass IS sex. if you've been fucked in the ass, you are NOT a virgin. there is just a study that came out that said that kids who suffered through abstinence education are engaging in anal sex as a strategy to preserve their virginity. saddlebacking, we call it now. that has to be the least effective virginity preservation strategy i've ever heard of."

begin.... now.

you have the longest opening credits known to man.

your vampires are not very hot.

you follow the book well, but you don't develop some of the characters properly.

i'm not entirely sure why i am still watching you.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

You are a bundle of contradictions these days. Although you have an uncharacteristic sense of emotional detachment now, your feelings are profoundly deep, giving you a sharp perspective on what's happening. You won't likely let others know about your internal process today, for you're not really seeking anyone else's point of view. Nevertheless, a conversation with a close friend is still a good idea, even if it's simply for the camaraderie.



Thursday, February 5, 2009
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

You may need to decide today whether it's more important to be true to yourself or to keep up social appearances. Your current decisions, though, are not as crucial as they may seem because they are part of a long-term process that is redefining the structure of your current relationships. Keep in mind that magnetic Venus is squaring your key planet Pluto now, intensifying your feelings as the boundary between friendship and romantic love is tested.

so the winds came on sunday. thanks, ike. i mean, it's not like you didn't do enough stuff in texas or anything, gotta bring the goods to ohio.

there are trees down still. earlier today, there were still a quarter of a million people without power in my county, about 2 million state-wide were without at one point. some places might not get it back until next week. the grocery store was closed yesterday, opened today and has nothing but dry foods. target yesterday (above picture) was crazy empty on food. the gas stations are out of gas because when you can't buy food, you should buy $4 gas.

i missed most of what happened because i was working on sunday and when you're in the mall, things don't register. but mike was in mt vernon and could barely get out of town to come home to the darkness. he helped tear apart a huge tree in the middle of a road, watched deer get confused because their forest home was a wreck, and drove into an incredibly dark city.

the world is crazy.

i am no longer amused by you.

"to find the balance you want... this is what you must become. you must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. that way, you can stay in the world. but you must stop looking at the world through your head. you must look through your heart, instead."

"where did you get the idea you aren't allowed to petition the universe with prayer? you are part of the universe... you're a constituent -- you have every entitlement to participate in the actions of the universe, and to let your feelings be known. so put your opinion out there. make your case. believe me -- it will at least be taken into consideration."

"do not apologize for crying. without this emotion, we are only robots."

"you were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

"the yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. we're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. we wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. we have failed to recognize our deeper divine character. we don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace. the supreme self is our true identity, universal and divine. before you realize this truth, say the yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the greek stoic philosopher epictetus: 'you bear god within you, poor wretch, and know it not.'"

"like most humanoids, i am burdened with what the buddhists call the 'monkey mind'-- the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl... the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking. happy thoughts make me happy, but -- whoop! -- how quickly i swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood... your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.

the other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. you are always digging in the past of poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment."

"your problem is you don't understand what that word means. people think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own intention so you can change your life. a true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. but to live with your soul mate forever? nah. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave."

"so i've started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. i repeat this vow about 700 times a day: 'i will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.' ... you may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts -- all these will be turned away. likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways -- you may not come here anymore, either. cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. this is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility."

"i keep remembering one of my guru's teachings about happiness. she says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. but that's not how happiness works. happiness is the consequence of personal effort. you fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. you have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. and once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into the happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. if you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. it's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."

- elizabeth gilbert, eat, love, pray

"It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion."
-anatole france

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly."
– Teddy Roosevelt

esoteric agenda.

part of this movie made me want to hide in a bunker and then other parts sort of made me feel empowered.

they bring up a lot of things that i'm already well aware of, though not necessarily well-informed on (central bank, illuminati, new world order, north american union, pagan traditions embedded in our society, etc). they feature some william cooper. they have a clip from what the bleep?. but they end with an alternate solution that i'm not sure a lot of these other movies give.

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."
-Tony Robbins

i'm pretty sure the lady on the weather channel just said "nipple sized hail."

NIPPLE sized?!


also: i would like to move to a warm place now. tomorrow morning's drive to work is already freaking me out.

thank you!

"Why is it so important -- what others have done? Why does it become sacred by the mere fact of not being your own? Why is anyone and everyone right -- so long as it's not yourself? Why does the number of others take the place of truth? Why is truth made a mere matter of arithmetic -- and only addition at that? Why is everything twisted out of all sense to fit everything else? There must be some reason. I don't know. I've never known it. I'd like to understand."

"Do you know that most people take most things because that's what's given them, and they have no opinion whatever? Do you wish to be guided by what they expect you to think they think or by your own judgment?"

"Surely you've seen through that particular stupidity. I mean the one that claims the pig is the symbol of love for humanity -- the creature that accepts anything. As a matter of fact, the person who loves everybody and feels at home everywhere is the true hater of mankind. He expects nothing of men so no form of depravity can outrage him... One can't love man without hating most of the creatures who pretend to bear his name. It's one or the other. One doesn't love God and sacrilege impartially. Except when one doesn't know that sacrilege has been committed. Because one doesn't know God."

"Love is reverence, and worship, and glory, and the upward glance. Not a bandage for dirty sores. But they don't know it. Those who speak of love most promiscuously are the ones who've never felt it. They make some sort of feeble stew out of sympathy, compassion, contempt, and general indifference, and they call it love. Once you've felt what it means to love as you and I know it -- the total passion for the total height -- you are incapable of anything less."

"I've always thought that a feeling which changes never existed in the first place. There are books I liked at age sixteen. I still like them."

i'm going to punch small children over ron paul.
i'm not kidding. this is driving me crazy.

why do people really like him this much? because it's a little ridiculous. i mean, let's be passionate, guys, but FOR WHAT?!

i don't care if the guy isn't a racist. WHY DID YOU LET RACISM GET SPREAD UNDER YOUR NAME FOR YEARS!? i don't think it's right. i think you should know what goes out under your name. i dislike it. i don't trust it.

also: HE'S NOT GETTING THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION! and he has said that he won't run as independent, if he goes against that, well, whatever.

i want people to vote for who they believe in because that's what i'll do. but i think this ron paul fanaticism is a little nutty.

tony: "A person needs to show that they've changed before you can believe a word."

i do not like when boys at work ask me if i have my nipples done. because, yeah, i will totally talk to you all day about piercings, but when they are uncomfortably into talking to me about my nipples. that's just awkward.

also: DON'T SHOW ME YOURS! i don't want to see them. i've seen guys' and girls' and really? you go around and just show them to random people? i'm not interested.


i am also not interested in seeing hillary win the NH primary.
just saying.

i can't sleep and i am not pleased about that.

things i love:

my friends.

seeing lima peeps.

rums and cokes.

talking about comics every time i see E at high five.


i have very little to really complain about.